Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Shall I falter or shall I fiish

Have you ever watched the movie "Rudy"? It is one of my all time favorites. It is a story of a young man who had a seemingly impossible dream, who was able to realize that dream despite insurmountable odds and obstacles. A lesson to learn from Rudy's journey is to never give up. Try, try, try again. Two main qualities that he had were: 1- a positive attitude  2- he always gave his all - he didn't do things part way - he lived with all his heart. We learn from him that a winner is someone who gets up no matter how many times they fall.

I've had chronic fatigue for 11 years. I am much better than I used to be, but I still have my up days and my down days. For years I hoped for some explanation and for some hope of being "cured" so that I could be "normal" again (for those of you who have been pregnant, just think of the days when you were so exhausted and that is what I feel like on a regular basis, a better name than chronic fatigue would be chronic exhaustion, it is so much more than just being tired). I stopped looking for answers from doctors and pills and turned to God and myself. I pray for strength and understanding and then I try to apply what I learn. So many times I fail to live up to the knowledge and understanding I've been given, but I keep trying.
I know I need to get regular exercise and focus on eating nutrient dense foods. I do really well for awhile, start feeling a lot better and then I falter in my good routine, have a bad day and fall off the good habits. The one thing I have to say is I keep getting back up and try again - sometimes I'm down for a long time and pout and whine and don't want to do the hard thing, but then God blesses me with the strength I need to try again. Without God's help I don't know if I could ever generate enough strength for the catalyst I need to start the forward motion. Truly, sometimes I look back and remember how helpless and hopeless I felt one day and by the next day my attitude, outlook and ability had changed and I once again had the strength I needed to try again.

Watching the movie Rudy tonight was a good reminder of why I keep trying. Last week I was having a "wo is me" day and I thought "why should I bother to keep trying, I always end up back down here, so why get up again so I can just fall again?" I am so glad that I don't let those bad thoughts keep me down. I am so thankful that God blesses me and that my perseverance wins out in the end.


Heather said...

I didn't know you had Chronic fatigue. How hard! If I felt as tired as I have been the past few weeks (recovering from c-section with no sleep from nursing baby), my entire life, that would be so hard. It sounds like you have a great attitude and are making the right efforts.

I know this topic is different than what you deal with, but so much of what you mentioned about turning to God, eating healthy, etc, reminded me of this blog post by Todd Moss's wife (did you know Todd?).

Anyhoo... I thought you might like some of the stuff she wrote about because it's similar to all the good things you are doing!

Keep a going! You can do it!

Oh - and I hope you're enjoying Florida. It definitely is a warm place even in the fall.

Bridgette said...

Did you know my Mom has that? She was diagnosed with it after J.R. was born, so 27 years ago. She will go for a few weeks and feel okay and then she will get sick for a while. If she doesn't get enough sleep or is stressed out about something it will make it worse. I am so sorry you have to deal with that trial! Take care of yourself and I will be praying for you.

Heather said...

oh - well here I am... back to the last place i read. Goodness. I can't believe I missed so much. I do love the movie Rudy. That is such a good one to learn from. I need to be more positive lately about work!!! I hope you're feeling healthy these days! Keep a goin'.